Four things that brought my Classical Music career back to life this year

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At the end of 2023, I was dissatisfied with my life as a Classical musician. My playing had significantly atrophied in the aftermath of the pandemic and having young children, and I lacked momentum. Practicing in any capacity felt like an insurmountable task that I had no motivation to attempt. I lacked purpose and felt disconnected from the “why” of countless years - decades, even - of relentless hard work on my instrument. Perhaps other creatives in the performing arts can relate? Here are a few things that helped me resuscitate my playing and reconnect to my passion and sense of purpose. 

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1. Resurrecting the early-morning practice routine

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After a few years of struggling to find a practice routine that works for our busy family and work life, I finally cracked the code—or, more accurately, rediscovered it. Early morning practice! At the crack of dawn, before anyone else is awake. This was my secret weapon back in my undergrad days, long before kids and sleepless nights entered the picture.

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With my children finally sleeping through the night (hallelujah!), I’ve experienced a practicing renaissance. I’ve been reminded that mornings are my most productive time: my mind is sharp, clear, and focused. I’ve been at it for a full year now and waking up early still isn’t easy, and there have been weeks when I’ve taken a break to avoid burnout, but the payoff has been huge. Finally practicing effectively again has reignited my motivation and the feeling that anything is possible for my playing career.

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2. Pushing myself out the door

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I wasn’t thrilled with the state of my playing last year. I’d been stuck in a “good enough” mindset for far too long, so I vowed to shake things up. This year, I took lessons for the first time in years, said “yes” to every playing opportunity I could find (no matter how small), and even auditioned for a regional group—and won! And after many years of playing all sorts of random repertoire that a freelancer tends to get handed, I especially sought out opportunities to play standard orchestral repertoire (Enigma Variations, Mahler 1, and New World Symphony were some high points). 

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Some highlights: I toured the Philippines with an international choir organization and played for crowds of 9,000+ people. I stepped into the principal horn seat for the first time since before the pandemic and re-learned how to manage the performance anxiety that comes with it. I ended the year playing a five-concert run of Christmas concerts at Abravanel Hall with a national performing group. Honestly, none of these victories would have felt “major” a few years ago, but they represent a huge shift in mindset, moving beyond just “getting by” with my instrument. I feel the momentum is growing and it’s exhilarating.

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3. Rediscovering the piano

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One of the best things to happen this year? We got a piano. I grew up with one and took lessons for years, but somehow my entire adult life passed without a proper instrument. We saved a little over the years and decided on our tenth wedding anniversary we would rather get a piano than go on a big trip as we originally planned. It has added so much joy to our lives!

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It’s been a constant source of inspiration and has reignited my love of music as an everyday practice. I’m not a super strong player, but seeing my progress over the past year has been incredibly rewarding. Above all, it has been a point of connection for our family. We sing, we play, we dance together nearly every day. It’s added richness to our family culture and I love knowing it’s an instrument we’ll treasure (and play!) for decades to come.

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4. New (and old) friendships

Moving from New York City to suburban Utah has been an adjustment. I’ve missed the energy of NYC and being surrounded by people who are so much more clever, ambitious, and infinitely more driven than I could ever hope to be. Making new connections in a sprawling suburb has been no small challenge.

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But this year, I’ve been lucky. New friendships have blossomed, and old ones have been rekindled in ways that have brought me so much life. These relationships—new and old—have reminded me of the power of human connection and the need to take the time for them. When surrounded by people who support and understand you, it’s so much easier to pursue goals with clarity and focus.

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More to Come

I’ve been so invigorated by the growth I’ve experienced this year. While not much about my life has changed from the outside perspective, I feel like the roots of big changes are growing deep beneath the surface. It’s been a year of going back to basics and putting in the work, coupled with igniting my passion for Classical music again. I'm grateful to have found what little time I could to recommit to my craft, in large part thanks to my loving partner who is always pushing me to reach my potential and will move mountains to give me the time and space I need to work towards my goals.

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I hope this finds someone who needs a little encouragement to make a change. There are seasons of life and our energy and motivation will always ebb and flow, but even a short, daily practice will yield so much more result than waiting for life to accommodate your desire to be more immersed in your art form. I'm hopeful that all the baby steps I took this past year will turn into leaps and bounds before long. I hope you'll bound along with me!

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